My little piece of nowhere!

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:52:18 GMT

Okay, there are a thousand other things I need to say, but G-D'it if this isn't the greatest thing I've ever seen then I don't think I understand what life is about. On Oprah, Dr. Oz said that a poll had been taken and my hometown, the place I was born and raised, was voted as the most depressing place in America.

HELL FUCKING YEAH!

I GOT OUT! I DID IT! I GOT OUT OF THE UNHAPPIEST PLACE IN AMERICA!

CURSE YOU!

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:11:00 GMT

I am currently procrastinating from doing homework by playing 365/2 days.

First Question: WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY HEART???? IT'S NOT NICE!

Second Question: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU XION?? BECAUSE IF YOU'RE A FUCKING PLOT HOLE I WILL CRY!

Third Question: Really? Can Sea Salt ice cream really be that tasty? Really?

Fourth Question: WHAT? VACATION? WHAT???? THE BADDIES TAKE A VACATION?

Ian/Jeff -- Good Friends -- NC-17

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:49:06 GMT

Title: Good Friends
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ian/Jeff
Spoilers: 1.01
Summary: Porn. Some words, but mainly porn.
Author's Note: Written to kick off the opening on community_slash and for greenpixiehair. Quotes from the EP1, used liberally.

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

"You seemed less into integrity the day I convinced twelve of your peers that when you did a U-turn on the freeway and tried to order chalupa's from the emergency call box, you're only crime was loving America."

"Well I do love America. I love it very much."

"Yeah..."

"I also love chalupa's."

"And do I even need to remind you of the lines of integrity you so willingly skipped over when you couldn't afford my services?" Jeff was pleased when Ian had the decency to blush. "I don't think someone who spent that much time on their knees-"

"I'll look into it," Ian interrupted quickly.

----

"Jeffery before you say anything you may want to think about the gift you've been given."

"An excuse to punch a hippy?"

"No...No. Not that. An important lesson my friend. You see, the tools you have acquired to survive out there will not help you here at Greendale. What you have is a second chance at an honest life." Jeff gaped at him for a moment, before slamming the door shut, and locking it.

"Okay, that’s enough of that." Ian quickly placed his wine glass and the keys down, as Jeff stalked toward him.

"Wait, Jeffery, think about what you are doing.” Ian nearly toppled backwards in his chair as Jeff cornered him between the wall and his desk. He threw his arms in front of his face, hoping against hope that it would be quick. Jeff rolled his eyes and fell to his knees, making quick work of a considerably stunned Ian’s belt. He lowered his arms, watching Jeff with shock evident on his face.

"I get it. You want a little payback. Well fine." He began to protest, but Jeff slid off his belt and unbuttoned his pants, and the fight quickly went out of him. When a hand reached into his boxer’s, grasping tightly at his rapidly hardening cock, he groaned, leaning back in his chair. He wasn’t sure why this was happening now, but he was just so glad it was he couldn’t bring himself to care. Jeff freed his cock, quickly stoking it to full hardness. He tongue slid a path down the underside of the length, drawing a loud moan from above. He snickered before wrapping his lips around the head, sucking lightly, his hand still stroking the base.

Ian slammed his eyes shut, moaning loudly as the tempo of stroke’s increased, only to let out a whimper when the hand was suddenly removed. Jeff simply ignored him as he quickly took the whole length in his mouth.

Ian gasped, jerking up in his seat. Jeff fell back, coughing.

“Oh god! I’m sorry.”

“Shut up, you girl,” he said, before taking Ian back into his mouth, one hand making sure to hold his hips in place.

“Jeffery…God…” Jeff smiled, as he continued to move up and down the length, absolutely enthralled at being able to watch the other man come undone; his eyes were shut tightly, his cheek’s red, and his breath coming in ragged draws. The hand not holding him down slid into Ian’s boxer’s, releasing his balls, before grasping his cock once more.

Feeling the warm mouth leave his cock, Ian finally opened his eyes, only to meet Jeff’s smirking gaze. “Wha-“he started, but was interrupted when Jeff slid his right ball into his mouth.

“Oh holy sonofabitch!” Ian’s fingers dug into the arm rests, biting his lip to stop from screaming. Jeff chuckled, and Ian felt it through his entire body. He tried to shut his eyes again, knowing if he didn’t it would be over far too quickly, but the sight of Jeff’s hand around his painfully throbbing cock, his lips wrapped around his ball, his eyes (Oh god his eyes) laughing at him. It was all too much.

“Jeff-I’m…I’m-“ he babbled, immediately recognizing the heat pooling in his stomach.

Then, everything stopped.

“AH!” Ian nearly cried as he started down at a smirking Jeff.

“Not as fun when it’s done to you, is it?”

“WHY?” Jeff leaned down, and blew a quick breath over the throbbing cock, earning him a gasp.

“I’ll take that as a no. Now, about those test answers…” he trailed off, giving him a coy look.

“I can’t,” he whined. Jeff sighed dramatically, turning away.

“Guess I should go home and study then, shouldn’t I?”

“You bloody son of a-Yes!” Ian groaned as he felt the hand return to his cock, immediately thrusting his hips upwards. “Yess…”

“So we have an agreement then?” he said, flicking his tongue over the slit.

“Yes! Fuck, whatever you say! Just please don’t stop.” Jeff laughed around his cock, pulling a groan from Ian, before beginning again in earnest. Ian threaded his fingers through his hair, hoping to keep him in place.

It wasn’t long before he immediately felt the warmth again, and he nearly cried tears of relief when Jeff didn’t stop this time. He tried to keep his eyes open, but then he was coming, hard and fast, Jeff was swallowing him whole, and his vision went white.

Once his vision returned he was lax in his chair and Jeff was standing in front of him, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I believe we had an agreement,” he stated, eying him expectantly. Ian blinked stupidly up at him.

“I…um…” Jeff grabbed the front of his sweater vest, pulling him nearly out of his chair, and crushing their lips together. When he tasted what had to be himself, his eyes rolled upwards, and nearly into the back of his head. Jeff pulled back, smirking, still holding him up by his vest.

“So?”

“Uh…yeah. Answers. You. Jolly good.” Jeff released him, letting him collapse back into his chair.

“You’re a good friend.” And with that he grabbed his keys from the desk and strutted out the door, leaving a confused, but satisfied, Ian in his wake.

Well..How do you pimp?

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:20:36 GMT

community_slash community_slash
community_slash community_slash
community_slash community_slash
community_slash community_slash
community_slash community_slash
community_slash community_slash

You know you want to check it out!!

Build me up...build me up buttercup...just to let me down...

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:05:04 GMT

Just went and saw The Invention of Lying. It was absolutely amazing. I almost cried at two different parts, and I almost never stopped laughing. Absolutely amazing. Everyone! GO SEE IT! You must!

:D

So, um, yeah.

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 09:07:31 GMT

So greenpixiehair and I were tossing around the idea of a Community slash community, and we were wondering if there was any interest?

You know, so, if you, like us, have noticed the extreme UST between Ian and Jeff, or think Jeff/Abed would be cute, post about it. :D Pwease?

HEY YOU!

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 08:58:32 GMT

♥ illicit_star ♥

WOOL PUPPY LOVES YOU!

I regret nothing.

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 01:20:44 GMT

For greenpixiehair.

I don't even...what?

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 07:40:32 GMT

I...I don't even...What?

I think my brain has exploded. It was just...too be good to be true, but I thought it was okay...and then BAM! HA HA IN YOUR FACE!

I'm killed. I just think I'm going to watch Glee until everything turns back to it's natural color.

Dear People-Who-Live-Upstairs

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 10:30:58 GMT

I know there is something to be said about being awake at six in the morning, after not sleeping the night before, but I need to ask you a personal question.

What in the world could seem to make you think you absolutely HAD to vacuum your floor at 6:30 in the morning?

With Confusion,
Your Downstairs Neighbor

I've now got the new LiveJournal Messenger.

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 00:01:41 GMT

I've now got the new LiveJournal Messenger. My Windows Live ID is oni_butterfly@livejournal.com. Sign up now and we can chat!

Writer's Block: Using My PC to Stay Connected

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 09:03:11 GMT

How have the ways you use your PC to stay connected with family and friends changed over the years?

Sponsored by WePC.com. Help us make your Dream PC a reality.

View 130 Answers

I HAVE A FAMILY? OH GOD...I remember buying a laptop and it all gets blurry from there.

...I wonder if they're okay?

Curious

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 08:34:01 GMT

So I was playing Fusion Fall on CN, because you know, yeah.

And I think I just found out where my BDSM kin came from: Dex's Lab: Ego Trip. Go to about 6:05. Yeah. God I miss old Cartoon Network.

5 Things Meme

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 09:54:13 GMT

I'm gonna post this now, before I talk myself out of it. Or, you know, spell check it. Here we go; hope it doesn't hurt your brain too much. My favorite? Princess Jon xD She started as crack, but she became a real person and I have no idea how!

John Oliver
(a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon

Even though he can joke about it, John really does have quite a low opinion of himself. He still can't believe that people actually find him funny, and while he's happier than he's ever been, he can't stop waiting for the hidden camera's to appear. Though they promise to try and talk on the phone at least once a day, Andy and John know that it will be hard to keep up their long distance relationship. They both buy unlimited text on their phone, just so they can talk all day, even though it's usually just a one word insult; dick,prat, wanker. John always dreamed of coming to New York, and when things get a little rough, he always takes a walk around the block, just so he can remember how amazing it felt when he first arrived.

(b) a reason he/she sucks

He knows it's a self defense mechanism, but he can't help but try to hide all his emotions behind a sarcastic front.

(c) a reason he/she is awesomecakes

He's too damn witty for words.

(d) five things that never happened to that character and/or
(e) five people that character never fell in love with and why.

The day before Andy's wedding John didn't tell him how he felt, and Andy didn't have the chance to call it off. John never fell in love Rob Riggle; before he could even think about letting himself fall, Rob was talking more and more about movies, LA, and tomorrow, and speaking less less about The Daily Show, New York, and forever. Rob never asked John to go with him, and John never had the chance to turn him down. John never brought up what happened between Jon and him during that late night writing session, and has never regretted anything more. John never botched the Daily Show audition, never opened a karaoke/stand up bar with Andy, never settled down with a girl who sung Don't Stop Believin' so off key it stole his heart, and never made her stay up every night to watch The Daily Show with him.

Lewis Black
(a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon

Lew never thought he would ever be more than a warm up act, but somehow he got to be where he is now, and he doesn't have a fucking clue how. From the first show he knew that Jon could be the shining star next to Craig's dreary night, as long as he didn't fuck it up. Lewis tells his friends that he's never getting married again because he doesn't want to be stuck with someone all his life, but truthfully, he doesn't want someone to be stuck with him.

(b) a reason he/she sucks

He can be a little too pessimistic. He knows it wouldn't kill him to loosen up a bit and just go with the flow, but for the life of him, he doesn't remember how.

(c) a reason he/she is awesomecakes

(This is kinda personal, but whatever. It's my meme, I do whut I want! *finger snap*) He made me laugh at a point in my life when absolutely nothing else could.

(d) five things that never happened to that character and/or
(e) five people that character never fell in love with and why.

Lew never became a famous playwright. Lew never took Jon up on his offer for a quick stress reliever because he knew they were both just overworked, lonely, and stoned. He never had the chance find out how he would have responded if they were both sober. Lew never fell in love with Jon; it would have been too messy. Lew never went into politics, though he had plenty of chances. Lew never asked Jon if he could have a more permanent spot on the show.

Sirius Black
(a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon

Sirius has to constantly remind himself how Harry and James are different, but he can't help notice how they're same. Sirius would have done anything James asked of him, because James was the complete opposite of everything his family raised him to be, and he wanted to be just like him. Sirius wants to ask Remus if he hates him for leaving alone all those years, but he's afraid of the answer.

(b) a reason he/she sucks

His innocence may have helped him survive Azkaban physically, but inside he was still broken. He couldn't help but see the world as a little darker, and he couldn't stop himself from becoming a little darker as well.

(c) a reason he/she is awesomecakes

He does everything he can to give Harry the family that was stolen from him, even when he finally realizes he's too far gone to ever fill that role.

(d) five things that never happened to that character and/or
(e) five people that character never fell in love with and why.

Sirius never fell in love with James Potter, even though he was a bit in lust with him. Sirius never stopped wanting to punish Severus, even after Remus made him realize he had no idea what he was punishing him for. Sirius never ran off with Harry, and hid him from the rest of the world. Sirius never took Remus on that backpacking trip through Europe like he promised.. He never had the chance to get down on one knee, in a field in Rome, and ask him the most important question of both their lives.

Jon and Princess Jon
(a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon

Jon always knew he wasn't much to look at it, but he found out early that because he was funny that didn't matter. Jon wasn't happy to have so much responsibility thrust upon his shoulder's, but once he realized he could give a voice to those people without one, it wasn't so bad. Jon thought about learning Korean, just so Stephen could have a secret language to speak in, but he didn't have the time.

Princess Jon knows she's not the belle of the ball, but when she wears her fabulous dresses, she doesn't care. Princess Jon never wanted to be Queen, but once she realized she could help people, it wasn't so bad. By the time she was eighteen, Princess Jon was fluent in four different languages, but it wasn't until Prince Stephen sent her letters in Korean that she actually wanted to learn a new one.

(b) a reason he/she sucks
Jon has a bad habit of letting his temper getting the best of him, and it can hurt his argument.

Princess Jon can see the good in everyone, except for herself.

(c) a reason he/she is awesomecakes

Jon has a bad habit of letting his temper getting the best of him, and it can hurt his argument. It just means he cares.

Princess Jon can see the good in everyone, except for herself. It makes her even more endearing to those around her.

(d) five things that never happened to that character and/or
(e) five people that character never fell in love with and why.

Jon never found out that John was in love with him. Jon never made another offer to Lew, even though he was sure the answer would be different. Jon never fell in love with Denis, but both of them knew what they were doing had nothing to do with love, and that made it even better. Jon never published any of the stories that fill his hard drive. Jon never asked Stephen why he stayed at their crummy show when he could be so much bigger, and Stephen never said it was because of him.

Princess Jon never Princess Jon never accepted Prince John's proposal. Princess Jon never told her tutor Lewis, before he left, that she was already half in love with him. Princess Jon never let Prince Denis sweep her off her feet, no matter how hard he tried. Princess Jon never found out if her talent for writing could be used for more than love letters and tear stained entries in her diary. Princess Jon never told Prince Stephen how she felt, even after his letters stopped.

If the world ran on almost's I would be it's queen.

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 10:16:29 GMT

I know everyone was extremely worried, but it's fine, I got some ice cream. Well, it wasn't so much ice cream, as I ate a piece of my fiancee's birthday cake, but it had icing and that's what counts.

Anyhoo. I'm alive. WOOT! And I owe a meme to my f!list. I really need to do that...And I will! Eventually. First however, some crucial discussion points.

How in the frickin world did I miss that there is a new Jak and Daxter game coming out? I feel like a failure. I mean, I did feel like a failure, till I then decided to play Jak and Daxter Numero Uno and beat it in 6 hours. HELL YEAH!
I had a dream last night that my favorite author in the world, Tamora Pierce, went on TDS and gave Jon a Wrist strong bracelet. Now, while this just seems like a crazy bit of randomness, it got me thinking...Why doesn't Jon wear a Wrist strong bracelet? He should dammit. Does anyone know if any guests have tried to give him one and I just haven't heard about it? Or has any guest wore one while on the show (besides Stephen of course). I just seems weird that such an integral part of Stephen's show is totally cut off from Jon's.
I beat Jak One in six hours. Did I mention this already? Oh well.
I finally got around to cleaning my living room and it is practically spotless. Envy me and Despair.

P.S. For some reason, LJ detected me being in Sterling, Illinois. I am not in Sterling, Illinois, nor anywhere near Sterling, Illinois, but as that sounds like a better place than where I am, it stays.

Hello

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 21:03:23 GMT

I was planning on getting here and explaining why I dissappeared off the face of the earth/fandom for almost a week and a half...but I just read the flavors over at runaway_tales and I really really really really really want some ice cream now.

So...take a rain check on that for a bit.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:49:51 GMT

Um, I'm not sure why I'm doing this, besides complete and total boredom, but here I am. Trying to follow the other fabulous attempts at this meme is sad, but I'm going there anyway!

Name a character from one of my fandoms and I'll give you:

(a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon
(b) a reason he/she sucks
(c) a reason he/she is awesomecakes
(d) five things that never happened to that character and/or
(e) five people that character never fell in love with and why.

Can be characters of OTP's, like greenpixehair did. WOOT!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 05:54:35 GMT

Haven't had a cigarette all frickin day, and I honestly think that is going to drive me insane. I about ripped out a chunk of my hair. Seriously.

You know, my brother has went through heroin withdraws, crystal meth withdraws, Oxycontin withdraws, and nicotine withdraws, all multiple times. However, while he is completely 100% clean , he still smokes. I really think that should tell you something. I want a cigarette.

ASKJGWP Ktjvdkfjtn6;3 ekjr4545ysp ,3b5 wtufebiFrKJKGJADFKGJ

I wish I had enough frickin money for patches, but hell, if I had enough for patches, I would have bought cigarettes with it. Oh what a tangled web we weave.

Jesus. I can't even frickin play video games cause the fiancee won't stop watching TV. A few hours of killing heartless and I would be fine, but nooooooooooooo. He wants to watch Supernatural. Well, buddy, you should have watched it through when I did, instead of playing WOW. GAH!

I wish I had fabric, I could sew something. Hell, I'd give anything for something eat. Stupid rent. Stupid electricity bill. STUPID DUKE ENERGY!

Going to go slam my head into a wall. BRB.

So...

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 02:49:14 GMT

About five minutes ago, I was trying to reach my backpack, to get my headphones, without actually having to get off the couch. So, when I leaned over the back of the couch, stretching out at an impossible angle to achieve this miraculous feat, I did exactly what you think I did. I fell off the back of the couch into the floor.

At the exact moment my fiancee walked into room.

And I ask you, what did my fiancee do? My beloved? My betrothed?

He paused for a moment. He stared down at my crumbled form, and before I could say a word he began, "You...are...my shining star. Don't you go away!"

.........I love this man.

YOU TUBE IS ONTO ME!

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 06:04:51 GMT

I JUST TRIED TO LOG INTO YOUTUBE, AND INSTEAD OF LOGGING ME IN IT POPPED UP AND SAID: "I CALL SHENANIGANS!"

OH DEAR GOD! YOUTUBE IS ONTO ME!

Writer's Block: Top of the Charts

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 02:27:22 GMT

What's the most-played song in your music library?

View 2051 Answers

SOS by Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan(Mammia Mia Soundtrack). Followed closely by At the Opera Tonight from The Repo Soundtrack.

Also, a meme stolen from sloppycronkite

Post a single sentence from each WIP you have (or as many as you want to pick). No context, no explanations.

1. "I don't need names when cold hard cash is involved."

2. War would not die; war would just adapt.

3. He would have wanted a giant picture of naked Florence Nightingale, or the queen, hanging up behind his coffin, and maybe even a game of cricket being played in his honor, but he definitely wouldn't have wanted see how dead John looked without him.

4. Jon trailed off once more when he realised Stephen's sarcastic brow raise and detatched expression were confirming suspicions he had often hoped were nothing more than that.

5. After he found a new beer to replace the old one, he did the smartest thing he could think of; he called Carla.

6. Lyre was a perfectly ordinary village, located in a perfectly ordinary province, and inhabited by perfectly ordinary citizens. They each went about their daily tolls with the average amount of perseverance, neither loving nor hating their lives in excess.

7. “Denis, I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but you just released a movie.”

8. However, to those containing a drip of magical blood it was nothing more than an illusion that allowed them to step through easily and enter the hidden city.

9. Erin finally caught her breath, and used it to let forth a shill scream.

Um..

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 09:27:34 GMT

Is it just me, or does CNBC just not give a shit anymore?

More information here.

My Life according to Scrubs

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 09:32:43 GMT

Stolen from sloppycronkite

How to do this meme: Using only EPISODE names from ONE TV SHOW, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat an episode title. It’s a lot harder than you think! Repost as "My life according to (show)".

Describe yourself: My Drama Queen

How do you feel: My Lucky Night

Describe where you currently live: My House

If you could go anywhere where would you go?: My Kingdom

Your favorite form of transportation: My Unicorn

Your best friend is: My Cuz (Funny story. My best friend is actually my cousin.)

What’s the weather like: My Full Moon

Favorite time of day: My Lunch

If your life was a TV show, it would be called: My Life In Four Cameras

What is life to you: My Comedy Show

Your fear: My Screwup

What is the best advice you have to give: My Words Of Wisdom

Thought for the Day: My Déjà Vu, My Déjà Vu

How I would like to die: My Ocardial Infarction

My soul’s present condition: My Soul On Fire

My motto: My Tuscaloosa Heart

THE MEME TO BEAT ALL MEME'S!

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 05:17:10 GMT

Under the cut are a series of categories. I give you a person I know you love and you give me a photo of that person that applies to each thing.

greenpixiehair gave me Lewis Black, so here we go!

1. Choose a picture of the funniest face on your person.

2. Choose a picture of your person eating.
Since I'm almost a thousand percent sure this does not exist, here is a picture of Lewis Black shooting the shit with Robin Williams.

3. Choose a picture of your person with an animal.
Um...I can't find this either. xD So...here's a picture of Lew at a booksigning. Also, yes, that bottle does say "Tasty God Damn Water."

4. Choose a picture of your person with a member of the opposite sex.

5. Choose a picture where you would have sex with this person.

6. Choose a picture of your favorite outfit on this person.

7. Choose a picture of your person smiling.

8. Choose a picture of your person half/naked.
I honestly think that this is about as close as he get's to half-naked. Yay T-shirt!

9. Choose a picture of your person doing an outdoor activity.

10. Choose your favorite picture of this person.

The Hell I Say

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 13:27:03 GMT

Some asshole came in the middle of the night and put a Street cleaning Sign on my side of the street.

No seriously. It wasn't there last night, but here I am, 9:00 o'clock in the morning, awake. One of my neighbors knocked on my door, loudly, until he woke me up and told me if I didn't move my car they would ticket me. So I did. And I don't even know which neighbor it is/who to think, because I answered the door without my glasses so he is just a blur.

Still, I didn't get a ticket, but, I'm awake at 9:30 in the morning, and I can't physically think of anything worse.